i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
