I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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