Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
