Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
