She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
