I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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