she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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