Me too!
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
