It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
