I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
