JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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