I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
