I think I am morally bankrupt
false alarm. still invincible.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
