Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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