did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
When did we convert life to cartoon?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize
