I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Randomize
