Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
