Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
