her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
