I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
soo... how was my night?
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