I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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