I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
