Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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