we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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