It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
