I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
