He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
