Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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