Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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