Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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