Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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