walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
