Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
