Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
