I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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