Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
