sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
