hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Randomize