you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
