I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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