Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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