porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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