dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
