He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize