That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
