So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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