its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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