ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
