Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
