sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
