Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize