Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
