Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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