Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
