Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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