Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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