but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
