You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
