Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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