I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i think i have herpe
just one?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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