I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
