I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
