My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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