Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize
