I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
