it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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