shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
