youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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